Captain Sandwich is trying to kill me. He wants me dead and I don't know why. Captain Sandwich is a fat (16 lbs) orange son-of-a-gun with a very happy, bordering on special needs disposition. He is one of theses cats that thinks he's a dog and hugs me like a real person. We spoon when we sleep and have been known to share pizza. He came with me from Minnesota and seamed to love NYC but something has gone wrong.
Now when I come home has the look of fear in his eyes, like he was the whiteness to a homicide. He is affectionate at first and happy to see me but then something changes. He starts to scream then chases me all over the house biting and scratching. I tried ignoring him at first but it fucking hurts! Someone once told me that declawing at cat is akin to ripping off your fingernails so Captain has all of his claws and when he scratches me I bleed. Now Captain and I have a ritual of him chasing me around the house while I scream like a crackhead. Today i had not other choice but to hit him over the had with a pillow.
I don't know what I did to him. Maybe he misses Minnesota, maybe he misses his balls, but I cannot live like this anymore. Captain Sandwhich is my home slice but I don't want to be afraid of my cat anymore. I'm a grown woman trying to make sense of my life in NYC and it’s hard enough without my cat trying to rip off my skin.
Oh Captain my Captain, how did I let you down?
